Welcome back to the Vault — the space where clarity meets structure and substance to build legacies that last.

I remember the exact moment I realized just how much I had been shrinking to fit into society’s rules.

A member of my community was getting married, and I was trying to decide on my hair and outfit. As I scanned my closet, my eyes landed on an off-the-shoulder, red, multicolored Ankara outfit. It was brighter than my usual go-tos, but it had potential. So I tried it on.

Zipped in, standing in front of the mirror, I was rocking my fauxhawk and this bold, unapologetic look. My first thought was: “This feels like me. Like all of me.” The hair, the print, the slight edge—it felt authentic.

But immediately after came another thought, more aggressive:
"This is too much. People will stare. I need to tone it down."

And just like that, I began scanning for ways to look… less.
Less than who? I wasn’t even sure.

That moment triggered a deeper realization: this wasn’t the first time I’d tried to become smaller. I had been doing it subtly and consistently—in my style, my speech, my interactions.

I did it with colleagues.
I did it with clients.
I even did it with friends.

And each time, I stepped further out of alignment with who I really was.
Every meeting where I showed up as someone less bold, less clear, less powerful, I eroded both my identity and my strength.

This realization changed everything.

The real problem with shrinking isn’t about comfort.
It’s about honesty.

Shrinking might feel safer, but it’s fundamentally misaligned—and that misalignment robs not only you but the communities and clients you serve of your full presence and power.

In business, this can look like underpricing, deferring too quickly, or withholding your strongest ideas because you’re afraid of seeming "too much." It might look like not telling a potential client the truth about what happens when they don’t hire you, because it feels uncomfortable to assert how valuable your contribution really is.

Here’s the question I’ve started asking myself:
“Am I showing up as my best self?”

If the answer is anything other than yes, I take a pause and explore why:

These aren’t surface-level questions. They’re alignment checks. And they’ve helped me course-correct when I’m tempted to tone down my brilliance in favor of blending in.

I can’t promise that it will always feel safe to be seen—in life or in business.
But I can tell you this: when you confront the fear, you reclaim the ability to move with intention, power, and integrity.

And that is always worth it.

Until next time,

P.S. I wore the dress and kept the fauxhawk! Here’s the look:

P.P.S. I’m building something powerful for new entrepreneurs who want accountability, support, and structure. Check it out and register your interest www.temispeaks.com/the-vault.